ah etto, sure I can join!
and yeah, I'm just making a group layout, and made affies with and ,
and do you think you can join these groups? I mean, in the ones W-A-H is affi
with
merged: 07-01-2008 ~ 04:41pm
and yeah, you can call me like that.. how should I call you?
merged: 07-01-2008 ~ 05:45pm
New layout added!
This will be called the second version; "The Death Returns to Life"
(no double meaning, hyehe, just look at the layout )
what is your thinking of it?
merged: 07-01-2008 ~ 05:58pm
This group will sure re-open again!
merged: 07-01-2008 ~ 06:04pm
arghh... too strong! *hurts my eyes*
merged: 07-01-2008 ~ 06:14pm
aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!
what the HECK happened!
merged: 07-01-2008 ~ 07:08pm
XD The new layout is IN!
yatta good job! you're sooo amazing! A.M.A.Z.I.N.G.! I tried sooooooooooooo hard
trying to fix up the crazy page, but...yeah, well yeah...it didnt really work
out as well as i hoped.
i <3 the page! its
cuuuuuteeee! good job! I"M SO SORRY FOR BEING NO HELP! I REALIZED THAT
ALTHOUGH IM GOOD AT DESIGNINg THINGS, I TOTALLY STINK AT HTML!
:D nene, miku-san (could i call you that svp?!?!?!), do you thinkkkkkkk that you
could join Fairies?!?!?! It's this other group that im an admin in...i made it
ages ago, but it seems to be dying after i left for a few weeks. -.- gomen!
An admin? Sure I'd love it! In fact I was thinking to do some decorative thing,
so yeah, I'd be glad to help!
My answer is: I accept to be W-A-H's admin!
And Cfe-TINKERBELL is not exclusively about Tinkerbell, as you can see, people
is posting artworks from other artists as well, what we oinly care is for good
artwork, no matter from which artist is..ç
I put the tinkerbell part, because many people told me that there wasnt any
TINKERBELL INFO, so I made the group with some tinkerbell info,
so yeah! Go ahead and join !
Ohhh! I haven't been here in ages! Ok. Umm...Sweet Miku! Heh heh...I just saw
you in RFL. Anyways, umm...yeah...if you really love the Wallflower, then can
you please helps us? As you can see, the group is in need of help. -.-' I mean,
I'm usually busy and everyone is pretty busy so we haven't been able to help
this group a lot. Now, (we saw your group) can you please be an admin and help
make the group alive? Would you mind? I mean...for only 11 members and 3 weeks
ago...that's an awesome group I'd join if I knew what tinkerbell was! (not very
aware of the anime/manga world)/ Anyways, sorry for this long post, but the
bottom line is, want to be an admin?
Hi! This group is rather nice, but maybe if it features more about Yamato
Nadeshiko Sinchi Henge... maybe wallpapers you mguys make, scans, this group
would grow incredibly high..
(aahhh.. i the one talking about that.. and our group only has 11 members..
created 3 weeks ago ><)
Anyway! I share my love for Yamato Nadeshiko Sinchi Henge, so I'm joining!
And also, wanna affilliate with ?
meow salmie i'm in deep poop too! i have a my sci final tommorow and i have to
write an essay this weekend! before i had finished a 16 paged outline and a
project with it too...and gao i need to finish that god damn mural with only one
more day left.....*weeps in agony* sooo busssssssyyyyyyyyy
lol thank you ^_^. that banner took me forever to me make (when i should have
been doing hw too haha). and the picture i found on deviantart, apparently this
person just colored in the pic but i still thought it looked so nice =3
lol meooow if u have any idea of how to vector things or make layouts can u help
us? =3
merged: 05-17-2008 ~ 02:29am
has someone read th latest chapter of wallflower? kyaaaaaaaaaaaaa kyohei kisses
sunako . crazy or WHAT?!?!?! (spazes)
don't worry salma. i'm not planning to change myself...my subconscious is too
stubborn to change my ways
but... i want to improve the me now by just a notch. like when julian didn't
come to school for 2 days knowing he has my bag, i should not be angry or
annoyed, i should wait and continue to ask him until he gives it to me. if
that's hopeless, i'll just by new notebooks and cry over for the japanese notes
that i treasure so much. or, like when ashley left me today becuz she couldn't
stand one of my friends selena and continue to say she's "patient", i
shouldn't be disappointed or frustrated, i should be more open minded and think,
"alright, i know she doesn't like her so that's okay. and i know she
doesn't believe in friendship so i shouldn't hope for anything from her."
and when people like kimberly cries for attention becuz they're drama queens and
likes to exaggerate stories, i should play along and ask them what's wrong and
try to give them advice... and when selena talks about all the cute things in
the world, and sing songs like "i want to be in america" from west
side stories, i shouldn't feel irritated, i should think, "alright, that's
just her personality" ....and despite how much i try...my god, won't they
at least pity me and try to work with me?...i mean...i can't be blunt to say
"stop exaggerating and get a life" or "shut up please" or
"why does it feel like i try so much and u do nothing in
return?"...it's just not right... i wouldn't want to hurt their feelings
and be inconsiderate. but ugh, i just don't understand the people in this
school... that's why i want to be more understanding so that it'll be easier for
me to work with them... and if that happens, i'll have more patience..so i'm not
asking for much... or depending upon changing my personality...it's just i want
to see if it's something i'm doing wrong that caused this (my negative outlook
on thing)..and i how i can change it.. becuz i swear, if they say it's not them,
who else can it be but me?
don't worry salma. i won't lose myself ^_^. my stubbornness won't let me no
matter what i say or how discouraged i feel lol. but yeeah.. i don't really mind
a bit if i have to lose a few things that r unnecessary (like being hyper or
tomboyish), becuz it's nothing that's deep or important of what makes a
marisa....but i promise i wouldn't lose myself again fullheartedly either ^_^
(remember in 7th grade i used to act so happy when i felt so empty inside?) i
really hated that feeling, so i'll be more cautious this time =]. lol thank you
so much salmie for caring... haha i'm so happy to here such pretty words (really
am)... but yes me love u too ^_^.
lol me too... i feel so gluttonous . and
don't worry, i'll practice everyday and do everything i can to be a great artist
=]. i want my art to make smile and i want to show those ugly bastards who never
had faith in me that i'm actually worth something ^_^. and i'm glad salmie is
fixing ur angry probs as well ^_^. does that mean u have become more mellow with
ur family?
lol don't worry i will.. see? i'm eating a juicy mango right now =3
lol i'm so proud of u salmie ^_^. that's good that u're are trying to be a
better u as well =3. but yes, i agree with that friend of urs...in the book
siddartha it also said something similar (something like if u mourn and grieve
over things, u'll never see the beauties in life and u'll never be at peace with
urself)...so yes... i think that's true.. that's why, i don't want to worry over
things so much..and i don't want to over think things until i hurt myself. i
think that's something i need to work on right? so that's why i decided not to
bother with the art students anymore becuz i saw that how i was thinking wasn't
benefiting me or anyone else. same goes for me being too emotional or dependent
on my new friends. and don't worry, i'll always love u guys so i'll never
hesitate to hold something from u ^_^
lmfao don't worry, me know this is all so weird for u and that u don't have the
time lmfao . i made u admin becuz u're good at recruiting and giving tips on
making this club better ^_^
ohhh misaa! *hugs* i know this contradicts everything ive said earlier, but
please dont change yourself for the sake of others. this is you and no one could
change you. yes itll take time, it might take a few years even, but i know that
someone will come along wholl accept you for who you are and not who you pretend
to be. yes, in life, you always need to make an effort but seriously, this is
not necessary...i mean, going to the extent of going against your own nature.
uguu, s'il vous plait, care about yourself.
im not saying its a bad thing to be more patient and more trusting and
stuff...it isnt really. you could and you should always strive to improve
yourself but sometimes it gets to the extent that you try so hard to be
something you consider to be better and in the process, you lose yourself. i
mean, that's what happened to me and when i try to think back to the person i
was in sixth grade, i dont remember...i dont remember because all the time, i
was like "im such a horrible person" and i tried so hard to fit my
feet into shoes that werent mine...that wouldnt fit that it hurt so badly. T-T
and now i feel like i dont know who i am sometimes because all my personality is
gone. or maybe this is my personality...i will never know. you see, youll lose
yourself misa. and i cant affford that because i honestly honestly could say i
love you bunches and i dont want you to lose yourself because you want people to
accept you.
but im glad that you're realizing this about desserts (not because i hate
sweets) and that youre wanting to change hopefully for the better. it's
an admirable endeavor and ill support you all the way. the habits and lifestyles
you put into practice now shape the way youll be in the future...soon itll be
too late to change. thats why i have to learn to control my anger and it hink i
am learning. but
thats besides the point, its a good endeaavor and i want you to pursue it. i
want you to wholeheartedly put everything into your work to be the best artist
ever. okay?
and yes, desserts are bad for you. at least, they're ok once in a while so take
it lax will you?
smile be cheerey. life is gorgeous and we humans waste too much time thinking
otherwise...and every minute of that lost time we could be enjoying and reveling
in the beautiful things there are to appreciate. a friend of mine...shes like in
her 40s, but shes really close to me. she told me that in life, you have to
learn how to let go...its really hard but you have to learn it. if something bad
happens, breathe and smile...and physically and mentally let go of it. that's
the only way we could be happy through everything. she helped me so much this
year and i dont think id be able to give this advice if it werent for her. she
also told me to start off with the hw obsession. she told me that i fim tired,
go to sleep. if im hungry, eat. if im angry, let go of it because it wont help
me. i still get angry, esp at Tashie, but i am learning slowly.
im so happy you realized that...you're letting go...the first step is to think
and will it. then you could physically let go. so yes, forget about them...there
are other people in the world who count more no? likee moi! just
joking. but seriously, there are other people who care so whatev to them. ehe.
im so ahppy that you cuold depend on me...that reminds me...i wanna give you a
phonecall. teehee.
wow great job btw on the page! i love the new pic! and the fan art! and the
calendar! i was meaning to change them, but i was like "i prolly cant"
or sth. gomen! im sorry! i became an admin for no reason in the end...gmoen! but
good job!
yeeah... recently after finishing siddartha...i kinda realized this is partially
all my fault . i rejected people first, so they reject me back. i shied away from
everyone expecting high expectations, people shied away from me thinking i was
too good for them. if i had open my heart more, they would have too. people r
accepting like that . so i
think... i'm going to try and be more open with them... more out going and
blunt...even though it's not like me and i'm rushing my cycle of trusting...
*sighes* and i'm not going to expect anything from them anymore...and try to be
more accepting..and understanding....and patient. and i also have to be more
patient and focused in my work too...without it effecting my relationship with
my friends... cuz to be truthful.. marisa is tired of desserts and manga. and
i'm tired of not doing my hw properly and getting lack of sleep..but the thing
is, it's so addicting being "bad" that me can't stop . and
that i'm probably going to forget my goal again and go back ... a
few days ago, i remembered how determined i was in 7th grade to be better in art
so that i could surpass people like lamina and be proud of myself. i wanted to
be famous and loved...and here me was, complaining when things got a little
tough... funny right? lol i'm such a baby. i've been pouting for too long '. too
much sweets really r bad for u *nods*
people in my school don't really care about me... *sighes* i'm going to wait
though. i don't care if ashley doesn't have faith in me now...i'm confident that
she will later... and i don't care if kimberly only comes to me for gossip, she
doesn't mean anything to me anyways so it shouldn't annoy me so much. and the
art kids...they will fade... and i'm going to forget them since nothing good
will happen if i keep thinking about it... but god *sighes* when it comes to
friendship and trust in this school...i see it as something so rare '.
yes, i rather depend on u and natashie .
i love u guys the most
and for the wallflower stuff...if we could get these vectored for the
layout..it'd be AWESOME O_O
merged: 04-27-2008 ~ 12:44pm
i finished making a new join in banner (tired)... this is the best i could
do..gomen --> will post it once i can access photobucket
uwahh! that's horrible misa msia! ugh i cant believe people would be so cruel!
hard-hearted idiots! you're you and no one could be mad at you! ugh! i just
wanna arghhhh! not fair! i dont know what else to say...hopefully things will
get better...they might forget. if not, just forget about it. i mean, i should
hope that you're not there to please people and make them think that you're such
a sweetie, even though that is quite appeasing. if it makes you happy, that's
that...and if they're not happy with what you want, too bad for them. please
dont mind them...there are some retards in this world who deserve to be eaten by
the loch ness monster. gomen ne...i dont know what else to say.
i hope things get better...and i do think that people will or do care about you.
if not now, they will. i know that...youll find some loving friends wholl take
care of you and baby you. hopefully...and you always have me and tashie. im just
a phonecall away. i
guess you're growing up...that's the only way that things like this dont
actually make you depressed depressed. things dont bug you or appear to bug you
as much as they did. and for this specific issue, you might be learning hwo to
bely your emotions better. i guess that's a good sign.
if things get any worse, call me k?
merged: 04-25-2008 ~ 12:12pm
misa, im dying to redo the page. please could we? get me a pretty pic you like
s'il vous plait! or better yet, give it to Haven-kun and ask him to make the
layout! this page SUCKS!
no everything took place. it's hard to find a moment to talk to a junior or
senior when they're ignoring u. if they probably said hi to me at least... i
would immediately tell them that i'm really sorry and that i didn't know
anything and that i was so sorry for being so selfish.. but instead they ignore
and watch me every morning. everytime i get my water for the painting or talk to
the teacher they glare at me silently. and even though i sometimes feel like
breaking down and crying saying how sorry i am, i instead look defiantly ahead
and start laughing like i'm innocent..*sighes* i'm such a wuss... it's so hard
to make friends in my school...i think i have more enemies than people who truly
care about me...no...i don't even know who TRULY cares about me.. i only know a
few that would pity me but i'm sure about care..*sighes* and what's funny is
that when i look in the mirror...i seem happier? i wonder why that is?
and i'm tired of being defiant..i was like that in the beginning of the year...
i didn't take crap from no one..i stayed quiet most of the time for the things i
saw no point of.. i replied back when people got on my nerves... but then people
began to get annoyed with me for being such a "smart-alec" when i
wasn't.. and they began to ignore me.. and whenever i tried to help
someone...people would get mad..and if i ever said that i was confused or
something they'd get mad... and if i ever spoke something that they couldn't
understand they rejected it... so i got tired and pretended to be stupid and
that "happy-go-lucky" kid who makes those cute sounds and be that
perfect rapist victim ...
that completely stinks. i dont see why anyone would be angry at you. you have to
be more defiant. its not your fault you didn't follow the rules supposedly. no
one told you and theres no guidebook. screw them
hopefully, this will all change with time. i guess that's all i could say
lol poor salmie. i just got a bunch of test this week
(midterm). having to do projects suck . what
is a position paper though?
well i found out recently that it was suppose to be a group project...but before
it seemed like i didn't know all the rules....i thought they would talk to me
first before they did anything...and i thought that they would be following my
orders since it was my mural...but i guess that wasn't the case..and now i feel
horrible for thinking so selfishly *sighes*. and they have every right to be mad
at me... i said pretty mean comments about it... (if u only got half of what i
was saying and not the whole conversation...)... and god yeah... seems like now
i have to do it all alone...it's ironic... art should be my best class...but
from what it seems, all the people who i want to befriend, have their own
community where they don't want me (yet they don't want to be rude about it),
and i have so much people hating me, that art is not enjoyable anymore...
*sighes*
and i'm not good at painting. i know a few techniques becuz i studied and
observed people and stuff but i still don't know how to paint REALLY well..which
is what i want.. for now..it's only decent...i think i'm only good with detail
and not creativity '.
this is why i thought people helping me would be useful in its own ways.... and
not all of their stuff was horrible, some were really amazing...
oh wait, now im confused. so they're mad at you when thhey were the ones who
screwed up your painting? sorry misa, but i dont think its your fault. its their
fault for being such losers at painting and having such horrid imaginatiosn to
want the girl to be a bright red-head. i mean, i know that i always say its not
your fault or your friends will say its not your fault or something, but
seriously, no thats just ridiculous. just tell them to shove it. not your
problem. you did what you can no? and not just, youre b eing modest by saying
that you are inexperienced. misa, if youre good at drawing, i see no way you
could be bad at painting. its actually pretty illogical. but like as i was
saying, itsn ot just that you did what yo ucan. they screwed up YOUR mural. you
were making it all nice and fine, but THEY screwed it up. so dont feel guilty.
so what happened with mr. bukkhari *sp, gomen*? what did he say? was he mad at
you? and dont care about those idiotic juniors. screw them.
yes yes just one more week! woot! i could do this...even though i have position
papers due this monday...and i have a project due on monday...and this whole
week is test week...and god im just gonna go crazy... but like you said, JUST
ONE WEEK! WE CAN DO THIS, YES WE CAN! WE CAN DO THIS IF ANYONE CAN!
actually pretty bad... u see i'm doing a mural for the school new student's
center...and well i just began painting it..and when they asked me "do u
want to paint it by urself or have some people help u?" i told the teachers
"i don't really care..." so in the end people started helping me...at
first i thought "fantastic! i could learn some painting skills from these
seniors and juniors" but then one day i come to class *yesterday* i see
that they did something really bold with my painting...they colored the girl's
head BRIGHT RED. like the girl in wendy's fast food commercial...and then i
realized they messed up 2 butterflies of mine as well...and i thought
"alright...not what i expected but at least it can be fixed" but then
the teacher assigns some other kid to ERASE that butterfly...and then i had two
juniors yell at me...and now i feel really guilty and confused...i think one
even threatened me...*sighes* i wish they explained the "painting
club" rules for me...and to make comments like "ur painting is not
THAT great" i find a little mean becuz u know how inexperienced i am...and
i didn't do anything to the red hair..i just told the teacher i wanted it
brown...but these junior/senior gossipers (two of them) tattled tailed...and now
i feel so horrible for complaining...and now i think no one will help me....i
should have just kept my mouth shut and told mr. bakkari to leave the butterfly
alone..=[. so that's the only stressful thing for me.... but i hope things get
better for u salmie.. just keep it up cuz like u said, just one more week until
break =]
nothing's much. tomorrow i have a MUN conference to go to again in manhattan
until...9 pm. i feel so bad for making my parents drive me home from there
again! wahh! and umm...well im really super stressed. this month is insane...but
i gotta keep ont elling myself "just a week more till vacation" so
yeah...
ah etto, sure I can join!
and 
,
and yeah, I'm just making a group layout, and made affies with
and do you think you can join these groups? I mean, in the ones W-A-H is affi with
merged: 07-01-2008 ~ 04:41pm
and yeah, you can call me like that.. how should I call you?
merged: 07-01-2008 ~ 05:45pm
)
New layout added!
This will be called the second version; "The Death Returns to Life"
(no double meaning, hyehe, just look at the layout
what is your thinking of it?
merged: 07-01-2008 ~ 05:58pm
This group will sure re-open again!
merged: 07-01-2008 ~ 06:04pm
arghh... too strong! *hurts my eyes*
merged: 07-01-2008 ~ 06:14pm
aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!
what the HECK happened!
merged: 07-01-2008 ~ 07:08pm
XD The new layout is IN!
i <3 the page!
its
cuuuuuteeee! good job! I"M SO SORRY FOR BEING NO HELP! I REALIZED THAT
ALTHOUGH IM GOOD AT DESIGNINg THINGS, I TOTALLY STINK AT HTML! 
:D nene, miku-san (could i call you that svp?!?!?!), do you thinkkkkkkk that you could join Fairies?!?!?! It's this other group that im an admin in...i made it ages ago, but it seems to be dying after i left for a few weeks. -.- gomen!
Argh?! Etto, gommen if you see anything wrong with the group, I'm just updating the page's layout ^^
merged: 06-29-2008 ~ 03:55pm
waaa!
layout color updated ^^
merged: 06-29-2008 ~ 07:48pm
And yeah, I'm trying to make a new layout theme ^^
nene, welcome umm...admin(?) Sweet-Miku-chan!
hope
you have fun around here and good lucka dn thank you for accepting the job! 
An admin? Sure I'd love it! In fact I was thinking to do some decorative thing, so yeah, I'd be glad to help!
! 
My answer is: I accept to be W-A-H's admin!
And Cfe-TINKERBELL is not exclusively about Tinkerbell, as you can see, people is posting artworks from other artists as well, what we oinly care is for good artwork, no matter from which artist is..ç
I put the tinkerbell part, because many people told me that there wasnt any TINKERBELL INFO, so I made the group with some tinkerbell info,
so yeah! Go ahead and join
Arigato for this great oportunity, Aaliyah-san
Ohhh! I haven't been here in ages! Ok. Umm...Sweet Miku! Heh heh...I just saw you in RFL.
Anyways, umm...yeah...if you really love the Wallflower, then can
you please helps us? As you can see, the group is in need of help. -.-' I mean,
I'm usually busy and everyone is pretty busy so we haven't been able to help
this group a lot. Now, (we saw your group) can you please be an admin and help
make the group alive? Would you mind? I mean...for only 11 members and 3 weeks
ago...that's an awesome group I'd join if I knew what tinkerbell was! (not very
aware of the anime/manga world)/ Anyways, sorry for this long post, but the
bottom line is, want to be an admin?
Hi! This group is rather nice, but maybe if it features more about Yamato Nadeshiko Sinchi Henge... maybe wallpapers you mguys make, scans, this group would grow incredibly high..
?
(aahhh.. i the one talking about that.. and our group only has 11 members.. created 3 weeks ago ><)
Anyway! I share my love for Yamato Nadeshiko Sinchi Henge, so I'm joining!
And also, wanna affilliate with
meow salmie i'm in deep poop too! i have a my sci final tommorow and i have to write an essay this weekend! before i had finished a 16 paged outline and a project with it too...and gao i need to finish that god damn mural with only one more day left.....*weeps in agony* sooo busssssssyyyyyyyyy
Wow, busy busy eh? Don't worry, you're not the only one flooded by those things ^_^
Good luck and study hard
GAO! IM SO SORRY FOR NOT POSTING IN AGES! EXAMS, PAPERS AND PROJECTS! THEY'RE DRIVING ME *INSANE*! GAOO! GOMEN!
soo what's been up around this neck of the woods?
misa misa, I HEART YOU! I LESS THAN T HREE YOU! I <3 YOU!
He kissed her? Wow! I'm gonna read it for sure
I'm sorry but I don't make vector arts *we don't have that adobe thingy*
uhm... ano... can you make another banner? pretty please? *puppy eyes*
lol thank you ^_^. that banner took me forever to me make (when i should have been doing hw too haha). and the picture i found on deviantart, apparently this person just colored in the pic but i still thought it looked so nice =3
lol meooow if u have any idea of how to vector things or make layouts can u help us? =3
merged: 05-17-2008 ~ 02:29am
. crazy or WHAT?!?!?! (spazes)
has someone read th latest chapter of wallflower? kyaaaaaaaaaaaaa kyohei kisses sunako
wow, the banner's so cute! i like that fanart too
X3
don't worry salma. i'm not planning to change myself...my subconscious is too stubborn to change my ways
don't worry salma. i won't lose myself ^_^. my stubbornness won't let me no matter what i say or how discouraged i feel lol. but yeeah.. i don't really mind a bit if i have to lose a few things that r unnecessary (like being hyper or tomboyish), becuz it's nothing that's deep or important of what makes a marisa....but i promise i wouldn't lose myself again fullheartedly either ^_^ (remember in 7th grade i used to act so happy when i felt so empty inside?) i really hated that feeling, so i'll be more cautious this time =]. lol thank you so much salmie for caring... haha i'm so happy to here such pretty words (really am)... but yes me love u too ^_^.
lol me too... i feel so gluttonous
. and
don't worry, i'll practice everyday and do everything i can to be a great artist
=]. i want my art to make smile and i want to show those ugly bastards who never
had faith in me that i'm actually worth something ^_^. and i'm glad salmie is
fixing ur angry probs as well ^_^. does that mean u have become more mellow with
ur family?
lol don't worry i will.. see? i'm eating a juicy mango right now =3
lol i'm so proud of u salmie ^_^. that's good that u're are trying to be a better u as well =3. but yes, i agree with that friend of urs...in the book siddartha it also said something similar (something like if u mourn and grieve over things, u'll never see the beauties in life and u'll never be at peace with urself)...so yes... i think that's true.. that's why, i don't want to worry over things so much..and i don't want to over think things until i hurt myself. i think that's something i need to work on right? so that's why i decided not to bother with the art students anymore becuz i saw that how i was thinking wasn't benefiting me or anyone else. same goes for me being too emotional or dependent on my new friends. and don't worry, i'll always love u guys so i'll never hesitate to hold something from u ^_^
lmfao don't worry, me know this is all so weird for u and that u don't have the time lmfao
. i made u admin becuz u're good at recruiting and giving tips on
making this club better ^_^
i don't know anyone who'd vector for us..?
ohhh misaa! *hugs* i know this contradicts everything ive said earlier, but please dont change yourself for the sake of others. this is you and no one could change you. yes itll take time, it might take a few years even, but i know that someone will come along wholl accept you for who you are and not who you pretend to be. yes, in life, you always need to make an effort but seriously, this is not necessary...i mean, going to the extent of going against your own nature. uguu, s'il vous plait, care about yourself.
im not saying its a bad thing to be more patient and more trusting and stuff...it isnt really. you could and you should always strive to improve yourself but sometimes it gets to the extent that you try so hard to be something you consider to be better and in the process, you lose yourself. i mean, that's what happened to me and when i try to think back to the person i was in sixth grade, i dont remember...i dont remember because all the time, i was like "im such a horrible person" and i tried so hard to fit my feet into shoes that werent mine...that wouldnt fit that it hurt so badly. T-T and now i feel like i dont know who i am sometimes because all my personality is gone. or maybe this is my personality...i will never know. you see, youll lose yourself misa. and i cant affford that because i honestly honestly could say i love you bunches and i dont want you to lose yourself because you want people to accept you.
but im glad that you're realizing this about desserts (not because i hate sweets) and that youre wanting to change hopefully for the better.
it's
an admirable endeavor and ill support you all the way. the habits and lifestyles
you put into practice now shape the way youll be in the future...soon itll be
too late to change. thats why i have to learn to control my anger and it hink i
am learning. 
but
thats besides the point, its a good endeaavor and i want you to pursue it. i
want you to wholeheartedly put everything into your work to be the best artist
ever. okay?
and yes, desserts are bad for you. at least, they're ok once in a while so take it lax will you?
smile be cheerey. life is gorgeous and we humans waste too much time thinking otherwise...and every minute of that lost time we could be enjoying and reveling in the beautiful things there are to appreciate. a friend of mine...shes like in her 40s, but shes really close to me. she told me that in life, you have to learn how to let go...its really hard but you have to learn it. if something bad happens, breathe and smile...and physically and mentally let go of it. that's the only way we could be happy through everything. she helped me so much this year and i dont think id be able to give this advice if it werent for her. she also told me to start off with the hw obsession. she told me that i fim tired, go to sleep. if im hungry, eat. if im angry, let go of it because it wont help me. i still get angry, esp at Tashie, but i am learning slowly.
im so happy you realized that...you're letting go...the first step is to think and will it. then you could physically let go. so yes, forget about them...there are other people in the world who count more no? likee moi!
just
joking. but seriously, there are other people who care so whatev to them. ehe.
im so ahppy that you cuold depend on me...that reminds me...i wanna give you a
phonecall. teehee.
wow great job btw on the page! i love the new pic! and the fan art! and the calendar! i was meaning to change them, but i was like "i prolly cant" or sth. gomen! im sorry! i became an admin for no reason in the end...gmoen! but good job!
hmm...who do you know who could vector?
yeeah... recently after finishing siddartha...i kinda realized this is partially all my fault
people in my school don't really care about me... *sighes* i'm going to wait though. i don't care if ashley doesn't have faith in me now...i'm confident that she will later... and i don't care if kimberly only comes to me for gossip, she doesn't mean anything to me anyways so it shouldn't annoy me so much. and the art kids...they will fade... and i'm going to forget them since nothing good will happen if i keep thinking about it... but god *sighes* when it comes to friendship and trust in this school...i see it as something so rare
'.
yes, i rather depend on u and natashie 
.
i love u guys the most 
and for the wallflower stuff...if we could get these vectored for the layout..it'd be AWESOME O_O
http://s208.photobucket.com/albums/bb37/khyle_nota/?action=view¤t=17-c9dj98q2kqu_fuller.jpg
http://s181.photobucket.com/albums/x58/Nany_chan/Works/?action=view¤t=pgeskin.jpg
http://s193.photobucket.com/albums/z131/josiphia/?action=view¤t=SUNAKO.jpg
merged: 04-27-2008 ~ 12:44pm
--> will post it once i can access photobucket
i finished making a new join in banner (tired)... this is the best i could do..gomen
uwahh! that's horrible misa msia! ugh i cant believe people would be so cruel! hard-hearted idiots! you're you and no one could be mad at you! ugh! i just wanna arghhhh! not fair! i dont know what else to say...hopefully things will get better...they might forget. if not, just forget about it. i mean, i should hope that you're not there to please people and make them think that you're such a sweetie, even though that is quite appeasing. if it makes you happy, that's that...and if they're not happy with what you want, too bad for them. please dont mind them...there are some retards in this world who deserve to be eaten by the loch ness monster. gomen ne...i dont know what else to say.
i hope things get better...and i do think that people will or do care about you. if not now, they will. i know that...youll find some loving friends wholl take care of you and baby you. hopefully...and you always have me and tashie. im just a phonecall away.
i
guess you're growing up...that's the only way that things like this dont
actually make you depressed depressed. things dont bug you or appear to bug you
as much as they did. and for this specific issue, you might be learning hwo to
bely your emotions better. i guess that's a good sign.
if things get any worse, call me k?
merged: 04-25-2008 ~ 12:12pm
misa, im dying to redo the page. please could we? get me a pretty pic you like s'il vous plait! or better yet, give it to Haven-kun and ask him to make the layout! this page SUCKS!
no everything took place. it's hard to find a moment to talk to a junior or senior when they're ignoring u. if they probably said hi to me at least... i would immediately tell them that i'm really sorry and that i didn't know anything and that i was so sorry for being so selfish.. but instead they ignore and watch me every morning. everytime i get my water for the painting or talk to the teacher they glare at me silently. and even though i sometimes feel like breaking down and crying saying how sorry i am, i instead look defiantly ahead and start laughing like i'm innocent..*sighes* i'm such a wuss... it's so hard to make friends in my school...i think i have more enemies than people who truly care about me...no...i don't even know who TRULY cares about me.. i only know a few that would pity me but i'm sure about care..*sighes* and what's funny is that when i look in the mirror...i seem happier? i wonder why that is?
and i'm tired of being defiant..i was like that in the beginning of the year... i didn't take crap from no one..i stayed quiet most of the time for the things i saw no point of.. i replied back when people got on my nerves... but then people began to get annoyed with me for being such a "smart-alec" when i wasn't.. and they began to ignore me.. and whenever i tried to help someone...people would get mad..and if i ever said that i was confused or something they'd get mad... and if i ever spoke something that they couldn't understand they rejected it... so i got tired and pretended to be stupid and that "happy-go-lucky" kid who makes those cute sounds and be that perfect rapist victim
...
that completely stinks. i dont see why anyone would be angry at you. you have to be more defiant. its not your fault you didn't follow the rules supposedly. no one told you and theres no guidebook. screw them
hopefully, this will all change with time. i guess that's all i could say
lol poor salmie. i just got a bunch of test this week
(midterm). having to do projects suck 
. what
is a position paper though?
well i found out recently that it was suppose to be a group project...but before it seemed like i didn't know all the rules....i thought they would talk to me first before they did anything...and i thought that they would be following my orders since it was my mural...but i guess that wasn't the case..and now i feel horrible for thinking so selfishly *sighes*. and they have every right to be mad at me... i said pretty mean comments about it... (if u only got half of what i was saying and not the whole conversation...)... and god yeah... seems like now i have to do it all alone...it's ironic... art should be my best class...but from what it seems, all the people who i want to befriend, have their own community where they don't want me (yet they don't want to be rude about it), and i have so much people hating me, that art is not enjoyable anymore... *sighes*
and i'm not good at painting. i know a few techniques becuz i studied and observed people and stuff but i still don't know how to paint REALLY well..which is what i want.. for now..it's only decent...i think i'm only good with detail and not creativity
'.
this is why i thought people helping me would be useful in its own ways.... and
not all of their stuff was horrible, some were really amazing...
oh wait, now im confused. so they're mad at you when thhey were the ones who screwed up your painting? sorry misa, but i dont think its your fault. its their fault for being such losers at painting and having such horrid imaginatiosn to want the girl to be a bright red-head. i mean, i know that i always say its not your fault or your friends will say its not your fault or something, but seriously, no thats just ridiculous. just tell them to shove it. not your problem. you did what you can no? and not just, youre b eing modest by saying that you are inexperienced. misa, if youre good at drawing, i see no way you could be bad at painting. its actually pretty illogical. but like as i was saying, itsn ot just that you did what yo ucan. they screwed up YOUR mural. you were making it all nice and fine, but THEY screwed it up. so dont feel guilty.
so what happened with mr. bukkhari *sp, gomen*? what did he say? was he mad at you? and dont care about those idiotic juniors. screw them.
yes yes just one more week! woot! i could do this...even though i have position papers due this monday...and i have a project due on monday...and this whole week is test week...and god im just gonna go crazy... but like you said, JUST ONE WEEK! WE CAN DO THIS, YES WE CAN! WE CAN DO THIS IF ANYONE CAN!
actually pretty bad... u see i'm doing a mural for the school new student's center...and well i just began painting it..and when they asked me "do u want to paint it by urself or have some people help u?" i told the teachers "i don't really care..." so in the end people started helping me...at first i thought "fantastic! i could learn some painting skills from these seniors and juniors" but then one day i come to class *yesterday* i see that they did something really bold with my painting...they colored the girl's head BRIGHT RED. like the girl in wendy's fast food commercial...and then i realized they messed up 2 butterflies of mine as well...and i thought "alright...not what i expected but at least it can be fixed" but then the teacher assigns some other kid to ERASE that butterfly...and then i had two juniors yell at me...and now i feel really guilty and confused...i think one even threatened me...*sighes* i wish they explained the "painting club" rules for me...and to make comments like "ur painting is not THAT great" i find a little mean becuz u know how inexperienced i am...and i didn't do anything to the red hair..i just told the teacher i wanted it brown...but these junior/senior gossipers (two of them) tattled tailed...and now i feel so horrible for complaining...and now i think no one will help me....i should have just kept my mouth shut and told mr. bakkari to leave the butterfly alone..=[. so that's the only stressful thing for me.... but i hope things get better for u salmie.. just keep it up cuz like u said, just one more week until break =]
nothing's much. tomorrow i have a MUN conference to go to again in manhattan until...9 pm. i feel so bad for making my parents drive me home from there again! wahh! and umm...well im really super stressed. this month is insane...but i gotta keep ont elling myself "just a week more till vacation" so yeah...
anyway, whats up with you?!
lol yeeah... meow i guess that was
. but i've always liked angels from the bible...including fallen ones as well
as stuff so yeah...
anyways what's up?